Venus, the planet of love, beauty, luxury, money, and art will be in retrograde ‘till 29/1/2022 and it’s gonna stir up all things related to our self-worth, self-love, and self-appreciation ’cause we were programmed from the earliest age to keep our feelings of self-worth strongly tied with the amount of money we make, the kind of job we do, and our self-love with how much we sacrifice ourselves for others.

We’ve been taught that self-love is all about being selfish, self-centered, narcissistic, and even satanic (more on that later), by those who, themselves, were never taught of the true meaning of self-love. We are programmed to believe our happiness and the love we need will come from the things and people from the outside, from the “world” we are “living” in. We are indoctrinated to believe that our “ideal” partner will save us, that our “dream” job will bring us joy and respect from others, and that buying more and more of the things we don’t need will make us beautiful, healthy, and sexy.

Well, when you wake up, the horrible truth of the perfect lie will raise its (very ugly) head and… set you free. Free from the expectations of others, free from the addiction to the rush of buying yet another thing you don’t need. It will shine a light on all things addictive. Not only to the substances, but people, situations, “problems”, and so on. Everything given the power to make you feel “happy” outside of yourself is very addictive. The very essence of instant gratification is that short, intense, wonderful dopamine rush,
you’ll need more and more of, and more often.

Most of us were never taught how to truly love ourselves. How to give ourselves the love we need. We are taught to seek the attention of others, respect from the community, the praise from our bosses. We go about our socially conditioned “reality” with as little thought about our true wants and needs and love for ourselves, as possible. Why is that?

Think about the ways you show someone else you love them. How much you care for them. Do you do the same things for yourself? Do you do what makes you happy? Do you make everything in your power to make yourself feel better in a healthy way? Do you want to see yourself healthy and taken care of? Have you gone out of your way to put a smile on your own face?

One of the greatest conspiracies of our time is that we NEED someone else
to make us feel complete and worthy of love and respect. And our greatest challenge is to see past all of the indoctrination and find a way to love ourselves unconditionally.

Is loving yourself all that selfish?
Or will the healthy self-love pour onto our every relationship there is?
To feel true love and compassion for yourself and to share that love with others, no expectations attached.

Is that selfish?

The New Age movement made a slight crack in our strong-held and outdated beliefs regarding self-care, but are we really capable of being positive and cheerful all of the time? With little, to no regard to what truly makes us positive and cheerful?

To see a “problem”, not even as a challenge, but an opportunity to ascend
is a wonderful way to start loving ourselves.

To see the situation and a “situationship” you got yourself into through the
acknowledgment of taking the responsibility for all the choices you’ve made
and accepting the consequences of those choices without judging yourself.
Well, that’s a high level to reach and it takes a lot of time and practice to get there.

Are we going to get there by sacrificing ourselves for others so that we may feel good about ourselves? So that we can finally get that pat on the back and for someone else to tell us we’ve done well? Or are we gonna get there by starting to ask ourselves is this really what we want? Is this the way we wanna live our lives? How can we make it better for ourselves? What is making us truly happy?

Are we gonna hurt someone else if we make ourselves happy? Maybe.
But is that on us or on them to process? We don’t wanna see our loved ones hurt, fearful and sad — so why do we put ourselves in a cage of “doing what is right for other people”.

Would you expect others to do the same for you? In the name of love?
Or would you give everything to make them happy, to help them in every way you can, to set them free?

Why won’t you do the same thing for yourself then? Is that so terribly selfish?

What the New Age sages made by parroting the same “love yourself” phrase over the years, was taking it mainstream and got it ridiculed because of the overly simple “solution” to all our “problems”. But, what happens when you realize that loving yourself is gonna be the hardest thing you’ll ever do?

Getting over an addiction is a massive, massive deal. But to be sure you don’t fall back, you need to get to know the root cause of that addiction. The ever-empty, ever-hungry void that needs to be filled with everything except your emotions and understanding. Addiction is the cry of your soul for freedom. And you are so very scared of freedom, ’cause freedom really is that scary. It’s the fear you’ll be alone and misunderstood and different from everyone else, but is trying to fit in a sick society making you healthy and free, or disturbed, angry and so very lonely, after all?

The hardest thing you’ll ever do is to love yourself.
Because loving yourself starts with facing your demons. Your biggest fears of being unloveable, unheard, unwanted, unappreciated. Do you really think someone else will release you from your self-made prison of guilt and shame? Nobody can do that for you. There is no special savior, there is no ideal partner, there is no deity in this whole universe who can do that for you.

Everybody else is struggling with the same challenges as you do, and every one of us deals with them in a different way. Do we need to be judged for that? Of course, not. But, do we still judge other people just like we mercilessly judge ourselves, not giving ourselves the time to heal, to grieve,
to hurt? Yes, we do.

We judge ourselves the most. And the harshest. And what we do to ourselves, we do to other people, consciously or unconsciously. It’s up to you to choose what’s the right path for you.

Are you gonna go through life completely oblivious of your true motives, or are you gonna take the responsibility for your own thoughts and (re)actions and live a conscious life.

Stand accused, feel ashamed, feel the guilt, make amends — just don’t run away from yourself. Again. Feel. That. Pain.

Be the wounded healer, use the feeling of pain to guide you to the deepest, darkest part of your ego and enter it. Face it — you’re on your own inside and nobody can help you. Be the help you want to get. Be that love you need. Be the light you seek. For. Your. Self.

Now, let us go back to that satanic part I’ve mentioned earlier.
It’s really funny how the ultimate self-love is connected to the core principle of the atheistic satanic movement — be your own god. So, in our “reality”, being your own god is tightly tied to… satanism. How counterproductive is that!

To connect something as important as that to the most feared fantasy of our dimension, you need to be a) extremely subversive, or b) a grandmaster manipulator. I used to enjoy wearing all black (for decades), just because some people find it disturbing, as it reminds them of the… funeral and death. As most of us are indoctrinated to fear death. So I perfectly understand the need to shock people for the sake of awakening them to their own power, but I feel that the true meaning of being your own god gets lost in translation.

On that note — another funny thing is how everything in our “reality” seems morbidly reversed. Love is selfish, fear is truth, suffering is the way, life is meaningless. It truly is horrible to awaken in this dimension. You know you didn’t choose it, you know you’re in a matrix, and there’s no exit sign anywhere on the horizon.

Well, it sure ain’t on the outside.

The only doorway you need to cross is the doorway through the shadow of your ego. Ego is a social construct, literally. It’s forged by the way the people surrounding you treated you in your childhood, your every hurt feeling, every new brick in your wall of ego was made to “protect” you, and keep you safe from not being hurt ever again.

Does it work? Are you now never getting hurt? Are you an emotionless rock?
And guess who’s the only one that can tear that wall down? Guess who needs tremendous strength to do so? Guess who needs all the love you can give to make it through the years of feeling small and insignificant?

The pain you feel, the loneliness you carry inside, the guilt, the shame, the fear — they won’t go away overnight. They do exist in the dark and they need all the light you have in yourself to expose them. They are ugly, they are disgusting, you don’t want to deal with them, you’ll get hurt again, you will die if you free them. Right?

Why won’t you set yourself free?

How about you light that fire, however small and weak it is at first, and look at those demons? How about for just a second in a month you say to yourself “I’m not that bad. I could have a loving relationship with myself.”, and then forget about it? Maybe that second will turn into a couple of seconds or even minutes. Maybe even every other day, or every day? And after some time, you find out that you don’t like a certain type of food anymore, or that hangovers are no fun at all, or that synthetic fabric feels gross on your skin?

And bit by bit, you start to make those little changes that make you feel good, ever so effortlessly. Suddenly, it’s so easy to be loved by you.

Maybe you’ll marvel at your newfound boundaries and some people will leave your reality, making space for the new, healthier, and more fun to be around people?

Or you will change your job, get a raise or completely change your career?

So, is your current situation really a problem or just an opportunity for growth? A quest you need to finish to level up? Are you ready to be the main character of your story? We all love heroes, so why not be your own hero?

I promise you, this too shall pass and you’re gonna be victorious.

Welcome the darkness ahead of you, that means the dawn is near.
And it’s time to wake up.

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