Why Is It so Hard to Get Out of a Toxic Relationship? | by Margaret Pan | Hello, Love | Jun, 2021

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If life worked like the movies, we would all find ourselves with our ideal partner early on in our lives.

But because real life doesn’t work like a fairytale, anyone could end up being romantically involved with a toxic person at some point in their lives — especially if they’re young and inexperienced.

Here’s what you can do if that has happened/will ever happen to you:

Step out of denial: It requires a lot of honesty and courage to admit you fell for a person who ended up poisoning your life, but acceptance is always the first step towards change. Remember that there’s nothing, nothing to be ashamed for — it’s something that could happen to anyone.

Replace “I can’t” with “I will”: The truth is you can leave your partner. You can break the cycle of emotional abuse. as long as you stop your inner mindless chatters. You are not alone. You are strong enough. You just keep telling yourself otherwise because you don’t want to live the pain and the consequences your breakup will bring.

But believe me, in the long term, the pain of staying in a toxic relationship will far outweigh the pain of ending it.

Communicate with someone you trust: Talk to your close friends, your parents, or someone else you trust. If you don’t feel comfortable sharing your situation with anyone from your social circle, you can seek a therapist’s help.

It’s important that a person you can trust knows about your situation so that they can prevent you from going back to them, or give you shelter in case your partner exhibits violent behavior.

Allow yourself to heal: Once you take that crucial step and leave your unhealthy relationship, you need to focus on healing. Healing is a process that takes time and patience. You should allow and yourself to heal, and that includes:

  • not rushing into forming a relationship with someone new
  • not being too hard on yourself for feeling hurt, depressed, or reminiscing about your relationship
  • spending more time with friends and family
  • filling your free time with things that make you happy



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