Boundary Work Basics: Determine the Value of Your Time and Your Gifts | by Amber the Alchemist | Jul, 2021
The energy surrounding the collective is an extension of last week’s message, with the 6 of Cowrie reminding us that reciprocity is every damn thing! The medicine asks us to extend our wisdom and knowledge to our respected communities, but with that action comes the necessity of exploring the balance between service and protecting our energy. This week, part of your responsibility will be enforcing clear boundaries to ensure your needs are met and that you are prioritizing what’s most valuable to you — be it your time, finances, knowledge, resources or mental health.
My biggest challenge since stepping into my purpose as a healer has been navigating through accessibility and deciphering the monetary worth of the energetic output. It can be tricky to navigate because people feel so entitled to me. They are quick to hop in my DM’s dumping their problems on me and demanding free advice, but a boundary I have enforced is not providing any free readings. With that boundary it ensures that each person who books a reading with me is ready to do the healing work because they look at is as an investment into their healing journey. It eliminates exchanging energy from people who are looking for quick fixes, don’t respect the practice, or are looking to ‘get read for’ for fun. As far as the DMs asking for free things, they get no reply or swiftly redirected to my website.
It took me a while to determine the value of each reading( ranging from $133-$200), but I feel at peace knowing that I’m being fairly compensated and my clients are people who are serious about their spiritual work. When people book with me they are not only paying for my time but they are paying for my gifts (which have been harnessed +10 years), my personal investments/education into my craft, my guides, ritual work, energetic maintenance, spiritual tools and so much more.
Boundary Work Basics
All of these pieces of the puzzle are to be considered when being of service or asking for a service. Last week, you may have opened yourself up to sharing and guiding others, but this week you’re called to evaluate the reciprocity of these exchanges.
Are you feeling drained?
Do you feel used?
Are you agreeing to acts of service that you do not want to do or energetically align with?
Do certain tasks feel like a waste of your time?
Do you feel that you give more than you receive?
Do you feel overwhelmed or that you need space?
These are all signs that boundaries are necessary to protect your peace and no one is exempt from them, including your family and yourself! Yes, sometimes we need boundaries too!
Have a tendency to scroll so much that you end up going to sleep two hours past your bedtime? You might have to limit your phone intake.
There are so many different ways to set boundaries, even without vocalizing them. Tired of the group chat messages pinging all hours of the night? Sure, you could say you don’t want anyone texting you after 10 PM, but not all of us feel comfortable with that. An easy fix is putting your phone on ‘Do Not Disturb’ after 10 or limiting it to that specific chat.
It can really feel uncomfortable, even audacious, but there is nothing more liberating than claiming your peace! You won’t make everyone happy. In fact, some people (like narcissists) will be offended at the audacity you have to protect what you value, but you will feel protected and safe.
Continue to share and be of service, or allow others to serve you. If you are the one extending yourself, don’t be afraid to filter out what you share. Your guides may be calling on you to revisit your rates or limit the resources you are sharing. This doesn’t mean you have to stop doing what you’re doing, but rather reframe your business model or acts of service to ensure that your needs are also being met. Do what you have to do to protect your magic! Your spirit team will be cheering you on from the sidelines, it’s okay to let your fiery side come out to play. Some people need those reminders!
If you are someone who has been receiving assistance of any form this week, closely look at yourself to make sure you aren’t taking advantage and becoming an energy vampire. Even with family members, we get accustomed to receiving support where we overlook the supporters’ needs. Respect any boundaries that are placed this week and receive with love and understanding.
- Reflect on the above questions
- Enforce boundaries when needed
- Ensure your relationships are reciprocal